What’s a Buka? 

With her ape like eyes and hypocritical love of water, she is less a dog and more a mystery creature. She eats paint and does’t die! She can’t contain herself from jumping in circles when she is standing on sand.  She grunts like a pig, as if misinformed about the sounds dogs are supposed to make. But these are only mildly strange idiosyncrasies on the general scale of why Buka is so incredibly bizarre. Found by Jay and Meag in the bowels of Long Island, she sat, alone and disinterested in her cage. She was riddled with perpetual eye boogers and kennel cough. She had a sinus infection that created an everflowing  golden river of snot from her cold black nose. She was something to behold…yet when Jay and Meag pitied her at the shelter, she didn’t seem to notice. Had other puppies been present (yes, Buka was the last puppy left – the last kid picked on the dodge ball team) those other dogs would have been eagerly yapping, turning their cute pupy charm to maximum force, but that was not Buka’s strategy. She played Meag and Jay like two suckers. She could have cared less, and with that, she becamethe irreplaceable love of Jay’s life, and the dog who gets away with whatevershe wants.

Buka’s charms come out at the most convenient times,rendering her forgiven for all mishaps, and invited to all family functions.

She is welcome wherever she wants to go: a dog celebritywhose aloofness only drives her adoring public wild. SHe is the Salinger of dogs, but without the drama.

She Likes:

Jumping after smoke. She thinks she can catch it providing hours of entertainment for onlookers

Eating her kibble on piece at a time, and to Buka, it is always a buffet. I frequently vacuum the bedroom only to find pieces of dog kibble spread out to satisfy her late night cravings

Sneezes: Nothing is more pleasing to Buka’s ears than the sound of a sneeze. She walks directly to you after you sneeze, and will climb up to your face, pawing at you for more.

Fake Jumping: If you say the word “Walk” Buka slams her paws down as if she is about to jump on you, then sort of slightly hops, leaving you both feeling let down.

Dirty Water: Not to be confused with clean water – Buka has swam in what is essentially the toilet bowl of the Hudson River, but will dodge any sprinkler or shower water at all costs, resulting in messy and smelly wresteling matches to clean off whatever gross thing she rolled in

Toes: do not wear open toed shoes around Buka unless you are comfortable getting them thoroughly licked with creepy enthusiasm. Toes are a delicacy to this dog and she cannot contain herself. She has no shame and has never met  a toe that she would refrain from licking. If she is jonesing for some toes and there are no barefeet to be found, she resorts to licking Jay’s flip-flops. She also satisfies her cravings with the inside of Otis’s ears and occasionally his jowls.

Sleeping on you: Buka does not cuddle, nor does she acknowledge your existence if you are sleeping. She will lie directly on your face / knees / chest. It is all the same. I have watched her sleep directly on Otis’s head.

Biting Ankles: That’s her go to move. Despite the fact thatit’s a total cheap shot, its hilarious when it works. She goes for the legs while you are walking down the stairs. It usually doesn’t end well.

Her Dad: Buka loves Jay almost as much as Jay loves Buka. I was walking the dogs down the block today and we happened upon Jay as he was returning from work.  He was a few blocks away, I barely could tell that it was him walking towards us, but Buka sensed her human soul mate was near and began pulling so desperately it broke my heart to hold such passion back. When Jay was about 30 feet away, I let her go and she ran (in that weird sideways way) right into Jay’s arms. She actually smiled and did a few spins…then rolled in something gross and tried to eat poop.

She is either the smartest dog I have ever met, or severely disabled,but I suppose genius is never straight forward.

Such is the chow/lab/schnauzer i suppose.